Teaching Kids to Clean Up Their Toys

Waking the house 

Sunlight is streaming in through my bedroom window, boldly declaring that not only is it morning, but it's definitely later than 6 AM. I roll over to check the time on my phone. 7:30. I can't believe all the kids are still asleep. That blessing is bound to burst any moment, and if it doesn't, I'll have to pop the bubble myself. Otherwise, Elliot will struggle getting down for a nap on time. 

I toss aside expectations of my normal morning rhythm and do the bare minimum to get ready. Then I start opening curtains and windows all over the house. Soon a lovely piano rendition of "Pure Imagination" by Emile Pandolfi floats through the air, and the house feels truly awake. 

What a mess

I take a look around. Lego pieces are scattered across the kitchen floor, ball tracker towers have taken over the entryway and tiny popcorn pieces have popped all over the living room carpet. It's a mess, no doubt about it. 

I'm itching to just clean it all up myself so we can start the day off fresh, but I resist. I remind myself, I have a rule: I don't clean up other people's messes. Not even when it would be so easy for me to snatch a toy lingering in the hallway and deposit it in the appropriate living room basket, as I'm on my way their anyway. No! I will not give in to temptation. Because one small exception like that easily becomes a habit of me cleaning up after them and them not cleaning up after themselves. And our family rule clearly states: We clean up after ourselves. 

I admit, sometimes I slip up and take the easy way out, doing it all myself instead of telling the kids to do it, interrupting their concentrated play, and then telling them again when they don't listen the first time. But not today. I'm going to do an experiment, I decide. How much free time will I have if I really refuse to clean up any mess that is not my own? 

But what about all the toys currently on the ground? I'll have the kids to clean them up, but how can I ensure that tomorrow morning won't be just like this one? 

Too many toys 

Maybe my kids simply have more toys than I can reasonably expect them to clean up and take care of on their own. Of course, Elliot is only two and I may have to work with him and teach him to clean up, but not Vivian and Peter. They are capable. 

I'm always amazed when I read the Little House series at how often Ma has to tell Laura and Mary to clean up their messes. Never. That's how often. And the reason is honestly probably because they had a total of maybe five toys between them. 

And another thing, they were so helpful all the time. Probably also because they had few toys to play with or to keep tidy and so their time was spent being helpful. 

My children can't keep their toys cleaned up and they aren't as helpful as I'd like. So I hatch a plan, here and now. Any toys left on the floor in the evening will be cleaned up by the children the following morning and then disappear onto the high high shelf of the laundry room closet. And every morning we will repeat this ritual until they have the correct number of items remaining, manifest by the fact that they can keep them cleaned up on their own. 

We start today. It takes them over an hour to get the mess cleaned up from the evening before, but by the time they are done and the culprit toys have disappeared, the space feels better and I feel better. It's the fresh start I wanted, with all the responsibility laid at the feet of my children. 

So now, at the end of the day, I've never seen the house with fewer toys lying around, and I've never had more moments of free time maybe ever as a mom of three small children. I wrote this entire post in those moments today, and finished before the kids went to bed. Now that's amazing. 

Also, my kids never asked for the toys on the top shelf, nor did they complain of being bored. In fact, their creativity soared and they played outside more. I'd call that a win. 

Now I'll pray for the strength to remain consistent tomorrow. 

Love, 

Elizabeth Erin